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Have you ever been addicted to anything? If so, what was it? If that addiction was a negative addiction for you, how did you break it (or how are you working on doing so)?

I don't know that I've ever truly been addicted to anything. I joke that I get a little obsessed with things sometimes, and that may be true in the short term, but there's never really been anything that I was unable to stop myself from consuming.

Except maybe reading. Now I come to think of it, that may be the only thing I could ever say that I have continued, even when it would have a negative impact. I will read to the detriment of all else. I will happily consume and voraciously text in a way that I would find unhealthy if I did it with anything else. I will find justifications/reasons/excuses to sit and read even when I really should be doing something else.

I would regularly miss meals at lunchtime when I was younger, because I didn't notice the time or my hunger in my fascination for a good book.

The night before I left for university, when I should have been completing my packing, I stayed up till 4am reading.

I read every day, including standing in front of the mirror with an ebook whilst brushing my teeth. I read whilst travelling, whilst walking, whilst eating, whilst making tea. I read when I should be sleeping.

I would stay up reading till 6am at least once a week, dragging myself into school the next morning just on the fragments of my determination. I would spend all my mental efforts to avoid falling asleep in class that afternoon (hence why I remember none of my French classes).

Who am I kidding, I've not improved in my sleep discipline. I will still occasionally (erm, often) stay up until 6am, 7am, or even later in order to finish a book. I recently stayed awake reading for 36 hours straight because I wanted to finish a book.

If addiction is "is a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences" (thank you Wikipedia!) then I guess this would fit. If I calculate the amount of sleep I've lost over the years, and the things I could have been doing instead of reading, the number of nights out meeting potentially interesting people I bailed on because I was head down in an enthralling book (and not always for the betterment of my mind, either! I do love a good piece of sci-fi or fantasy fiction.) I'm aware that I could probably have made a bit better use of the time.

But for all that, I don't regret any of it. Me without a book is...inconceivable. It is such an intrinsic part of my psyche that I wouldn't know who I am without that connection to reading. I've certainly had wonderful experiences because of my reading, and I've chatted to some fantastic people.

Overall, does it count as an addiction if I don't really think it's doing me any harm? Or does it make it even more of an addiction?

Regardless, this isn't something that people are going to tell me I should stop doing - bibliophiles like to band together and egg each other on (usually in various geeky tomfoolery)! What other kind of 'addiction' would bring this much joy, and such wonderful people?

Word Meme!

May. 7th, 2011 01:07 am
serina_ds: (Default)
Word meme courtesy of [info]smescrater!

If you're wanting to play, reply to this post with "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

My words!

Right, well this is going to be all about the way I do polyamory, I guess. For me, the simplest reason why I do poly is just that people are so massively, wonderfully, mind-bogglingly complex as beings, that how could anyone really hope to perfectly match all the bits and pieces and jigsaw puzzles of another being? I know I have multiple layers and aspects to me - and I'm certain that each of the people I know have the the exact same feeling. This way, each of my separate facets are fulfilled - and all in an open, honest, caring and non-possessive way. I don't have to hide or deny how I feel about someone. Which equally means that I don't need to seek The One Who Will Be Everything Forever And Ever. They don't need to be everything - and neither do I. I can share my ocean of love with many different people, and each person who shares in that love does not in any way diminish the amount that is available for anyone else. Love is not a puddle, with it's limited boundaries and finite amounts. Love is an ocean, vast and continually being replenished. Love is worth nothing, if it is not offered to another.

The only rules I have are 1) Open, honest communications at all times, and 2) No taking risks with sexual health, either mine or my partners'. That's no way to respect somebody.

Hmm, kink. Well I like a bit of play now and again. For me, I guess it's more about the interaction between people, in a much more intense and focused way than you could ever get in most situations, particularly in public. For me, BDSM doesn't necessarily have to equate with sex, although it tends to do so much more nowadays. I'm a total switch, about as switchy as it's possible to be, and I rather like it that way. I thoroughly enjoy my experiences both domming and subbing. I don't do shouty, ranty doms though. I don't care what the situation is - once they start yelling and screaming, it totally breaks the mood for me and I lose all respect. If you can't control yourself, how on earth can you hope to control another person? I apply this equally to myself - If I can't control you with my usual voice, and my presence, and my touch - I'm not doing it properly.

Does this even need explanation? Really? Mmm, chocolate.

....I've been told there's Youtube video of me drinking hot chocolate. WTF?

I love books. I love to read, yes, but I also love the physical sensation of a book in my hand. The texture of a page under my fingertips, the subtle creaks and rustles of a page being turned, the scent of a particularly new, or particularly old, book. I also love bookstores - sitting breathless amongst all the treasures as I sip on a hot chocolate, watching the steam curl out of the corner of my eye. I love wandering through aisles of former-tree more precious to me than gems, more desirable than fur coats. Old and new, sitting side by side in quiet harmony. These are memories for me, joys and fears and passions and love. When most children wanted to be an astronaut or a singer or a fireman, or even just famous, my dream was to live in a library, forever surrounded by books. I love flicking through thin, delicate pages edged in gold, finger brittle sepia prints in old journals, or stroking hard leather-bound books stacked tightly on shelves with not enough space. There is never enough shelf space.

Corsets are fantastic! They're fun, sexy, gorgeous, and they give me back a figure I've long since lost. :-) I feel fantastic in them and I've been told I look great in them too. They can really add the perfect final touch to an otherwise decent-but-not-special outfit. That sensation of squeezing? That's like being held in a continuous embrace, like feeling a lover's hand moving over my bare skin or lying in bed naked between satin sheets. There's nothing like it in terms of sheer, sensual pleasure and seductiveness.

...Plus they're great for winter, as they're so warm!
serina_ds: (Default)

For anyone who hasn't seen this yet, if you love books may be a good place to go. It's a fantastic idea, and I know that loads of the people I know will be interested. Book lovers also love to share books with their friends and loved ones - here's a chance to share with lots of people at once!

20,000 people will be selected from applicants to give away 48 copies of one of the 25 books they've listed. There's quite a range on there, and the application is pretty short.

Guess what....I've applied!


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