serina_ds: (Default)
serina_ds ([personal profile] serina_ds) wrote2010-11-30 10:18 am

Writer's Block: All generalizations are false, including this one

Question:

All generalizations are false, including this one
What was the last juicy generalization from which you freed yourself? What caused your perspective to change?


I love finding my world view turned on its head sometimes. Learning new things, clearing out old prejudices I didn't realize I had (and we all have them - it's part of development, and understanding the society you live in).

The last time I had a generalization poked at, it was about my image of what differentiated a potential partner from a friend, as a result of reading something about asexuality and polyamory. Since I don't believe in the One True Love (TM), I just see people on a spectrum of degrees of love. I don't do exclusivity, nor do I do the same things with every partner I have. I don't require sex as a part of a relationship (although I thoroughly enjoy it) and I will also have sex with good friends. I'm perfectly happy to just cuddle with a partner - but then I'm also happy to cuddle on the sofa and watch a DVD with a friend. I will confide and gossip with both. I will go out to shows and dinner with both.

What, then, makes the difference between a friend and a romantic partner?

I guess, in the end, it's a matter of negotiation and expectations. We communicate more. We compromise on more. I will expect more from a partner - but I will also forgive more. I put more of my faith and trust in their person than I would a friend.

It's not that they matter and my friends don't. It's that they matter more - and that's just the way it should be.

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